what is the use of having "people" around you but end up alone when you are not well

salam..

mmg.. ase cedey ngat..

sme rang kua.. hmm.. iren kene kurung dalam umah...

whenever i say i wanna go out just to ease my mind, make myself feel fresh and look at the beautiful world before the earth hour begins, they warn me.. "stay at home! mate tu sakit lagik.. kang making teruk kang.."

isk.. the prob is, i da terperap dalam umah since last thursday.. and ase macam nak gle dah!!! xlarat aa just nak baring tgk tv.. duduk tgk tv. i am not a tv type like u guys do. sementara cuaca ngah terang and my eyes still can see the road nih irene nak kua.. iskk.. dari semalam dok makan roti jek.. iskk.. i am not the roti type!! i wanna real food!!

i know i kene pantang makan, nak elakkan gatal kat mate tu, but pliz laa.. i need real food. i ve tried to eat oats.. yang diorang kate sedap tuh.. hmm.. doesnt suit my taste at all!!

my frens sme nyer bz.. ngan urusan memasing.. ngan family, ngan dating, ngan ntah.. hmm.. sampaikan i even ask to suggest where should i eat pun, depe x tau.. mmg what sakit ati....

well... again, what is the use of having "people" around you but end up alone when you are not well???

tell me...

SAKIT MATA!!!

salam..

sorry for long dissappearance...

irene terlalu bz.. huhu.. mangku kijer orang. hahaha.. xde le bz gegle.. tp.. hishh.. irene bukan de banyak tangan.. sehari pun de 24 jam jek..

so nak dijadikan crite.. since few days ago, irene sakit mata.. actually, since lepas balik dari kenduri kazen kawen kat kampar ari tu da notis da.. mata macam ase kesat sket.. even wearing lens pun kene de drops.. hmm..

so, this week, irene g skola pakai spek jek.. xbani laa nak pakai lens.. isk.. mmg ase kering ngat mata nih.. hmm.. sembang ngan member online.. depe pun kate skang nih musim.. oh ye ke.. anak depe pun kene gak.. isk.. de kawan irene soang tu, the whole famili kene.. dier, laki dier, anak2 dier.. isk.. cian...


punce irene kene?? akak irene le.. dier kene dari opismet dier.. huhu..tp dier kene maser g wedding sepan ari tu.. xtau le kat wedding sepan tu de ke x guest dier yang kene sakit mate.. kalo kene, sila salahkan akak irene ekk..

hmm.. tp maser dier kene sakit mate, iren xde plak kene.. kirenyer, time irene kene nih, dier da beransur baik le.. iskk.. nak wat cam ne ekk da skang nih irene plak.. asenyer xde plak sesape kat skola tu yang kene sakit mate sampai irene leh kene sakit mate nehh..

hmm.. semalam g kinik taman medan.. plan nak mc banyak ari kan.. so kene laa g kk.. kalo nak mc sehari dua jek, leh g private.. huhu.. sebbaek x lama kat c2.. tp irene dapat dua hari jek.. xpe laa.. esok g laa kk kat btr ke cheras baru ke.. amik mc lagik.. janji kerajaannyer..

hmm.. ok laa.. makan ubat tahan gatal nih jadik ngantuk.. iskk.. gatal mate le.. nak menggatal tu, any time pon leh...

ok.. chiowww!!!

p/s: cik sepan.. ang nih balik dari honeymoon sonyap teruihhh aaa...

CROCS..

salam..

ari nih ase macam best..

hehe.. layan bebdak dalam kelas sebab da almost seminggu x masuk kelas..
irene g mssd.. bawak pasukan olahraga skola.. huhu.. dok lepak stadium jek..

semalam balik dari stadium g umah akak kat balakong.. lepak sane.. so meaning, irene just bawak sepasang baju kurung untuk g skola td n sepasang heels yang mmg da simpan lam kete..

slalunyer kalo irene pakai heels pun kat skola, irene akan ade sandal scholl irene dalam kete. but since irene dok usung students lam kete nak bawak pi stadium, all my sandals n heels dalam kete tu irene tinggaikan kat umah..

nak dijadikan cite, irene xde da sandal.. so, nak x nak, my beloved crocs kene laa berkhidmat utk irene kat skola.. huhu..

mmg le irene x pakai all the time kat skola.. i still wear my heels when gettin into the classroom kan.. xpakai heels, alamat, xsampai le irene nak cecah ke top point white board tu.. irene nih kan petite jek.. so, mmg le irene pakai heels tige inci masuk kelas.. heh!!

today, my classes ended at 12pm. huhu.. lege da.. almaklum le.. since ari tu irene da layan snickers kat stadium, tetibe ari nih plak pakai heels, mmg aa ase perit jek kaki, especially tang jenjari tu.. ibu jari. maka, anta jek buku n fail ke bilik guru, terus jek irene menuju ke kete.. n then tuka kasut.. fuh lege.. ase nak menangis da kaki tu td..

hihihikk.. but i have a prob. memandangkan waktu bekerja blom tamat ngan rasmi.. cam ne le irene nak lari ke bilik guru pakai kasut yang sangat obvious tu.. haha.. lantak laa.. maka ngan selambanyer, irene telah berjalan2 dengan nyata n jelas ke sane dan ke sini kat skola tu.. huhu.. kene plak time tu da ujan...

hahaha.. cikgu skola irene kate irene gle!! sangat selamab wat pala sendrik.. isk.. nak wat cam ne.. irene da ase xleh nak jalan da pakai heels tu.. sakit ler.. but anyway, xpe.. as long as xde pentadbir yang tego td..

hihihik...

ok laa.. irene da nantoks..

nite2...

hmm.. tau ade yang heran.. nape sandal CROCS irene nampak macam budak kecik nyer.. actually, mmg irene li yang budak nyer.. kaki irene tecik.. saiz 3.. xleh li yang dewasa.. huhu.. heels irene pun ade certain tempat jek leh li.. sebab x semua company de produce kasut saiz 3.. huhu..

tian x kat irene???

kene tinggai dah...

salam..

Ari ni sahabatku sayang, cik sepan nk menikah.. Huhu.. Of course i am happy for her..

Ari ni gak irene kene g skolah. De motivational camp. Actually dr smlm prog tu bejalan. But coz i am not feeling well, jd, ari ni br irene g jengok..

Xdapat nk g teman, tgk, usik sahabat aku menikah..

Sahabat, irene doakan segalanye bejalan lancar. Pe2hal sms aku tau..

Huhu.. Kak sherry mmg da kaweng pun.. Ixor pung da kaweng.. Ni sepan plak nye turn.. Irene? Ntah ble nk kunjung tibe.. Cedey gak ase.. Huhu..

Life is getting tougher days by days, isn't it...

demam...

salam.. irene demam ari nih...

since last weeknd actually...

kijer manyak... huhu.. semalam da xg teje...

cam ne ekk.. huhu..

serius x larat.. pala pusing...

tulun!!!!

Patut x?

Salam...

Ari ni irene ase penat ngat. Actually dr mggu lps irene ase penat tahap melampau. Ye la.. Ngan preparation mesy pibg n sbgainye.. Even last monday tu cuti, tp xase lege langsung..

Hmm.. Kebetulan on monday tu, i have agreed to fetch some friends from lcct. They were from bandung. Short vacations. Sbg kawan lama n xde plak xtvt on that particular day, i didnt mind la to pick them up. So, irene bwk kete akak irene. Lalala.. Drove all the way to lcct. Akak mmg tgglkan kete sbb dia nk blik kg, xde minyak. So i poured in for rm30.

Dr puchong, i drove to lcct through usj..

Ok, fetched them at 11.30. Then drove off to send one of them at bangi.

Done. Then coz it was already lunch hour, so sggh kat restoren yus.. Mamam.. Xhengat seksyen bape..

"Kire easing ek dek" said one of my passengers.. Ok.

After lunch, since they were all tired n considering two of the were going to drive back to jb, n as they told me they need to rest b4 going back, so i took them to my sis' place at balakong.

Rehat, makan, tgk tv, lelapkan mate. Ok.

Bukak beg tjk souvenir, n amik souvenir. Kek lapis coklat. Sebijik kek, share utk dua rumah. Hmm.. Ok.

Tjk kaen sulam kebaya they bought there. Nk jual. I liked one of them. Ok la. Rege jual bape? Rm150. Tp rege kwn, rm130. Hmm.. "xpe. Amik la. Xyah bya skang. Tggu gaji ujung bln." Silence.

My sis should be arrived from ipoh at 8pm, so they said to wait for her. "Alaa.. Kte dinner la skali ngan ayeen." Ok.

Then i rushed back to ampang to send my sis back to college. Then rushed back to balakong. Arrived at balakong at 8.30pm.

Had dinner at a tom yam restaurant at cavenzi. I only ordered fried rice n my sis ordered nasik paprik. Just had warm water n juice. Done.

At the counter. Again "Ni nk baya skali ke asing ne?" asked the cashier. Suddenly a voice.. "asing". Ok.

Then drove them back to putrajaya, as they park the vehicle at my fren's apt. Hmm.. Took out the luggage from the car, they started the engine, kiss kiss hug hug, then, daadaa.. Silence. Hmm..

Drove back to balakong from putrajaya with my sis. Silence. I looked at her, she looked at me. Then both looked at the road. Silence. Arrived home, the fuel tank had been emptied..

At home..
"not even a word ek.."
?
"xde pun dia tanye ek, bape minyak or tol td.. N xde pun nk pay for the meal.."
Me just silence, coz i have started to feel hurt inside since we left putrajaya..
"bape rege kaen tu? Rege kawan kurang doploh jek dr rege jual?"
Silence again..

The next day, went to school. Dont want to remember that. But another fren of mine talked about her famili vacation. Huh, to bandung too. Didnt know what drove me, i asked..

"ila, kalo kebaya sulam kaen batek tu, bape ek kat sane lps convert duit kte?"
"alaa.. Dlm tige patploh hengget jek kerin."
ZASSS!!!

Drove home that day, i cried. But xpe, the next day i wanted to ask ila if the one i hold now is the one she meant by that price.

The next day..

"Kerin, yg ni la yg ila tgk around rege tu. Kalo nk tgk yg mahal punye, esok ila bwk.."
"haa? Dia jual rege kwn rm130? Kalo ila la jd dia, ila bg jek free kat kerin. Sbb kerin da jemput anta g. Siap bg rehat lepak tdo lg.."
Silence. Drove home i cried. I want to return back that thing to her. I feel hurt.

Dear fren. It is not that i couldnt afford to pay. It is not that the material is cheap. But it is about taking advantages on ppl kindness in the name of frienship.

It makes me so sad that she took my willingness for granted. I am not expecting her to pay back all the expenses, fuel rm30, tol usj klia rm4.70, klia bangi rm5.20. Not to mention my sis' place yg dia sepahkan.. Just looking fwd if she really appreciate us as her fren. It hurts me so much that she just discount the kaen for only rm20, even at that time i said "akak, sy bya rm100 jek la.." dia tarik muke. Then my other fren kate "haah ala akak, cover tol n minyak" and the only word she can say is "ah, xde". And it hurts me more when she didnt even offer herself to pay for my food that not even exceed rm10. And not even asked or mind to ask how much was my expenses to fetch them. Well, in the name of friendship.

Hmm.. I was from ampang, went to lcct. To balakong. Then to putrajaya to send them. Then back to balakong.

Not even a word.

In the name of friendship. Hmm..

Am i being too kind to ppl?

3 songs that i love to listen nowadays...

Tak Mungkin Kerna Sayang - Alyah

Setiba di persimpangan,
Langkah kita tak lagi sehaluan
Bermula di saat itu
Tidak senada irama dan lagu

Begitu hidup ini
Tiada yang abadi
Yang patah tumbuh
Yang hilang berganti

Kau telah jauh, jauh dariku
Tiada ruang di hati buatmu
Namun harusku akui
Ada ketika di minda kau menjelma kembali

Sekali sekala ada
Ada rindu yang datang tiba-tiba
Tak mungkin kerana sayang
Cuma terganggu oleh perasaan

Begitu hidup ini
Tiada yang abadi
Yang patah tumbuh
Yang hilang berganti

RAWAN - AZHARINA AZHAR

Biar berjauhan namamu daku sebutkan
Cukup untuk mengisi
Sepi tika pilu menanti
Bukan bintang atau suria bisa menyinar ceria
Namun kau cahaya menerangi jiwa lara
Berperang dengan curiga di firasatku
Andai kau kembali merawat hati rindu

Ku bahagia pabila kau tiba
Kau lenyapkan rawan
Tak usah dikau pergi
Tak ingin lagi
Meruntun hiba dengan sesalan
Kini kuakui
Segala kemaafan kupohon kepadamu
Agar kau mengerti
Hanya cintamu yang terbaik untukku

Biar berjauhan namamu daku sebutkan
Cukup untuk mengisi
Sepi tika pilu menanti
Berperang dengan curiga di firasatku
Andai kau kembali merawat hati rindu

Ku bahagia pabila kau tiba
Kau lenyapkan rawan
Tak usah dikau pergi
Tak ingin lagi
Meruntun hiba dengan sesalan
Kini kuakui
Segala kemaafan kupohon kepadamu
Agar kau mengerti
Hanya cintamu yang terbaik untukku
Kau untukku


AKAN TIBA

Hey hati ku..
Selalu
mendambakan cinta namun tak kunjung tiba

Hatimu itu
Seperti apa yg ku mahu selama ini

Am Em
Ertikanlah pagi ku yg kaku tanpa kamu

C/o
Kau ku cinta
Engkaulah yg ku puja
Tertunggu selama ini takku jumpa
Dgn mu ku di lamun indah
Ku harap cinta akan tiba di hati kita..

Lihat kamu
Tak ku sedari
Waktu dh mulai tinggalkan ku

Kau kau kau
Buatku lupa mengapa ku disini pada mulanya..

Ertikanlah malam ku yg sayu dingin tanpamu

Setiap hari bersama mu
Ku ingin selalu dekatmu
Ku hitung saat dan waktu
Hingga hari esok kembali lagi

p/s: hmm.. sme nyer de makne nih.. especially yang memula tu.. hmm... (2003-2008)